Are you feeling lonely, isolated? It is not just you.  Statistics show that loneliness is a growing problem that effects a large percentage of the population of all ages.  With recent events, it’s even harder to connect. Even children and young adults are affected.

It would seem that the number of lonely individuals is on a steady rise. In the 1980s, only 20 percent of Americans reported feeling lonely.  Feeling lonely is not necessarily connected to being alone. One can feel lonely in a marriage, in a group, so what is going on? 

Perhaps loneliness is in our thinking patterns.  One person can seek and enjoy solitude, while the next person feels lonely under the same circumstances.  Losing relationships, moving, a death of a family member, changes in family structure, or inability to visit with them and more can leave one feeling isolated, empty alone and a loss of purpose.

One interesting perspective is I am different from everyone else, they have better lives and aren’t as lonely as I am, when the statistics show many are just as lonely as you are.

One of the reasons for feeling lonely is dwelling too often on the past.  It was so much better when.. Or If only I had done- regrets.  Yes, there is a time for grieving, but also a time to start living in the present.

Some of the ways of fighting the loneliness can lead to more problems.  One may jump into a relationship or substance abuse to escape the loneliness, but still not feel connected, just not alone. 

Depression and loneliness can be intertwined.  While loneliness may not necessarily mean you are depressed there are similar symptoms. Some common signs of both are:

Feeling worthless, empty, sad, hopeless, sleeping too much or little, restless, lost, anxious irritable.

Here are suggestions on how to effectively deal with loneliness:

1. Define the real reason you are feeling lonely. Being happy is not a permanent state, nor is feeling lonely and sad. Life has an ebb and flow. What helps you feel happy? Avoid focusing on what you lack and think more about what you want..
2. Get active. If you want to start feeling connected, perhaps try something new. Take a walk in the neighborhood, join a meetup in your area (meetup.com) with people of common interests or a new interest. Volunteer in some way, helping others can be very fulfilling.
3. Take baby steps. While it is tempting to withdraw from the world when you are feeling lonely, try spending time everyday doing something social. Call a friend, send a text, write an email or go to a social event.
4. Seek professional help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Counselling can help you change your life path, sort out the feelings, that brought you to the place of loneliness and or depression and help you build a new perspective and a happier you.

Are you tired of feeling lonely and need some help tackling the problem?  We are here to help.  Call Serenity Hope Consulting Services Inc.  in The Villages, FL today to schedule your first appointment. 

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